As children grow they need to develop in a number of important ways including language development, social-emotional skills, cognitive and self-regulation skills. Play is an important tool that parents can use to create nurturing relationships with their children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) clinical report (Sept. 2018) The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children, explains how and why playing with parents and peers is key to building thriving brains, bodies, and social bonds—all important in today’s world. Research shows that play can improve children’s abilities to plan, organize, get along with others, and relate emotions. In addition, play enhances brain development, curiosity, learning, social skills, and even helps children cope with stress.
Children function best when they feel connected to someone who cares about them. You can build a connection with your child through play, laughter, roughhousing, cuddling, and warm, enthusiastic attention. Engaging fully with your child in play offers a wonderful opportunity to build your child’s self-esteem. Brain development is also strengthened by play. It is how children, at a very early age, engage with and interact with their world. A child’s development is affected positively by consistent and loving relationships with parents as they interact through play. The bonds between parent and child are built and made stronger when playing together.
Playing with your child teaches patience, problem-solving, social skills and creativity. It lets children know they are appreciated and loved. It opens the door for sharing concerns when the need arises.
The AAP encourages parents to use play to help meet their child’s health and developmental milestones. Some examples of ways to do this:
1 to 3 years old
• Let your child play with blocks, empty containers, wooden spoons, shape sorters, and puzzles. Simple and inexpensive objects are some of the best ways to support a child’s creativity and grasp of how the world works.
• Give your child opportunities to play with peers. This is a good age to try a parent-supervised playdate.
• Provide opportunities for make-believe play—for example, pretending to drink out of an empty cup or offering toys that enable pretend play.
• Read regularly to and with your child. Encourage pretend play based on the stories. Ask your child to tell you what else might happen in the story.
• Sing songs and play rhythms so that your child can learn and join in the fun. Encourage moving to the beat. Begin to introduce some age-appropriate games like Simon Says.
4 to 6 years old
• Provide opportunities for your child to sing, dance, and draw. Activities that involve music and art support cognitive, social-emotional, and multi-sensory skills.
• Tell stories to your child and ask questions about what they remember.
• Give your child time and space to act out imaginary scenes, roles, and activities. You can provide dress-up clothes and props but allow play to be unstructured.
• Allow your child to move between make-believe games and reality—for example, playing house and helping you with chores.
• Schedule time for your child to interact with friends to practice socializing and building friendships. These are great opportunities to encourage sharing and cooperative play.
• Balance media use and screen time with “real world” activities. Age-appropriate media can have benefits for older children, especially if you watch and play with them. However, real-time social interactions and play are much better for children than digital media for learning.
If you’re parenting older kids remember play can evolve. Video games can turn into a bonding experience when you join them in co-op mode. A friendly competition in family trivia night might unleash a whole new level of engagement.
Encourage your teens to show you their world. Challenge them to teach you their favorite game. Join them in their latest obsession, whether that’s cooking a new recipe together or watching their favorite shows together. Creating shared experiences is what will deepen your bond. You can show them that playing together doesn’t stop just because they have outgrown the toys.
Family activities are great for the whole family. They help develop strong family bonds which can last a lifetime. They are also more cooperative, and supportive and can have open communication. These qualities increase a child’s self-esteem, social skills, and sense of connectedness.
Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood. – Fred Rodgers
By Katie Gonzalez, LCSW
