May is Mental Health Awareness Month – a time to check in with ourselves, reflect on our emotional well-being, and remind one another that mental health matters.
Many of us reach adulthood only to realize we never learned how to feel our feelings, let alone regulate them. Maybe emotions were brushed aside growing up, or the message was clear – directly or indirectly – that it was better to stay quiet, stay strong, and keep moving. Or maybe life was just too chaotic for anyone to model healthy emotional coping.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Emotional regulation isn’t about controlling or suppressing our feelings; it’s about learning to work with them in ways that feel safe, steady, and clear. It’s a skill, and like any skill, it takes time and practice. But building that toolkit, even later in life, can be both empowering and transformative.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, here are five emotional regulation tools to support you in those messy, vulnerable, very-human moments.
1. Identifying Emotions
Understanding what you’re feeling is the first step to responding with intention rather than reaction. Begin by naming what you’re feeling. Are you anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed? Labeling emotions can reduce their intensity and provide clarity. It might feel awkward at first, but even pausing to say, “I’m feeling really on edge right now,” can create space between you and the emotion.
2. Grounding Techniques
Use your senses to bring yourself back to the present. When emotions feel overpowering, grounding exercises can help reconnect your body and mind. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This sensory-based practice gently anchors you in the here and now, reminding your body that you’re safe, even if your mind is spinning.
3. Self Compassion
Many of us are quick to offer kindness and understanding to others, but struggle to turn that same compassion inward. When we’re feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or like we’ve “messed up ” our inner critic tends to take the wheel. Practicing self-compassion means pausing in those moments and treating yourself like you would a dear friend – gently, honestly, and without judgment. It’s not about excusing harmful behavior or avoiding accountability; it’s about reminding yourself that being human means being imperfect. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me? try asking “What do I need right now?”
4. Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are the invisible lines that protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being, yet many of us grew up believing we weren’t allowed to draw them. You may have learned to prioritize others’ comfort over your own, or worry saying “no” makes you selfish. But the truth is, boundaries aren’t walls, they’re a form of clarity and care. Boundaries support healthy connection by helping you stay close to others without abandoning yourself in the process. Whether it’s limiting certain conversations, taking space when you need it, or protecting your rest time, setting boundaries is a powerful form of self-respect.
5. Seeking Support
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Talking with a therapist, joining a support group, or simply confiding in a trusted friend, can make the weight you’re carrying feel a little lighter. Learning to regulate your emotions is hard work, but it becomes so much more manageable when you’re not doing it alone.
Regulating your emotions doesn’t mean getting it right every time, it means showing up for yourself, over and over, in ways that are honest, kind, and supportive. These tools won’t erase life’s hard moments, but they can help you meet those moments with a little more steadiness and self-trust.
Wherever you are in your journey, know this: learning to care for your emotional world is brave. And you’re allowed to take your time.
